I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
