just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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