At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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