The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
