Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
