so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
