My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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