we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
