Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
