So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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