i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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