whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
