I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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