i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
