In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
