Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
