Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
