does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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