I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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