chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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