he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
