If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
