Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
