Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
