im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
