I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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