I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
