So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
