I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
