That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
