I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sorry about my life...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
