So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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