Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
