i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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