Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
