I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
