I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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