Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
