I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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