We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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