it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
