This is not my ceiling
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
