Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sarcasm needs its own font
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
