other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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