He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
