Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
