those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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