Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
