just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
