im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
