You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
