So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
