So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
