i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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