i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
