When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
