He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.