wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect