Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU