I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.