Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.