I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.