all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.