Plan B is the new Plan A
one two three fourrrrnication!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
