You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
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