Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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