i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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